we're the closest thing to suburban gangstas
cold air's what we breathe our vests have no sleeves
it's hard to haul trees in subzero degrees
we smell like evergreens

all I want for xmas is my two front teeth
and some mistletoe all up in this piece
maybe a girl that's free of disease
and while I'm thinking, throw in a couple of g's yeah
I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed
I want a ho who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit
I'm just a hayseed selling trees to break trees
know yer daddy hates me it's drivin ya crazay

even though my nose is runny get the honey's 'cause I'm $
but I never get laid can't find my way into long undies
I don't trip, just dip, listen to country
with my piss I write my name because I think it's funny
I'm so into this deciduous lifestyle
you see dead tree and I see a cash cow
I never bargain and I never back down
put the back seat down and I take yer ass to tree town
yer daughter's givin me the eye
so I am givin her a ride
I'll put up the tree myself and put up all the lights
as long as I get all up in her tights

all I want for xmas is my two front teeth
and some mistletoe all up in this piece
maybe a girl that's free of disease
and while I'm thinking, throw in a couple of g's yeah
I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed
I want a ho who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit
I'm just a hayseed selling trees to break trees
know yer daddy hates me it's drivin ya crazay