Granny likes to crochet, and croquet, and quote Dear Abby
Granny causes road rage, in slow lanes, she's no Andretti
Granny's got the whole day, to go pray, for all her family
You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmamma

she came into the hallway, it was Sunday, had a snack made
Then the book of Revelation, was the topic, of conversation
Granny says you know babe, the Lord say, in verse 3:20
He's standing at the doorway, so don't waste, a moment honey
And you gotta go pray, or else babe, you won't gain entry
Then you told her OK, I want saved, I'll go pray Granny

Granny told you OK, first you tell Him, that you're sorry
Believe He died or your sins though
And accept, Him and repento -- Whammy!
He came into your heart then, you were prostrate, on the carpet
Then she ran you to the next room
You were sat down, there was more food
Granny karaokes, to old tapes, of Sandi Patty
You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmama

(BRIDGE)

Granny had a roast made, and potatoes, that were homemade
And she buys Poppin' Fresh Dough
So she baked you, some crescent rolls, lets eat!
You came into her apartment, and the blessings, only started
And then your Granny took and fed you
You were stuffed now; it was her food
Granny brought you cold grapes, and poached eggs, and bowls of candy
Granny brought you milkshakes, and fruitcake, keep Rolaids handy
Granny's artichokes make, your throat gag, so don't take any
And before you go babe, you must take, a roast beef sandwich