"Have a seat", he says pleasantly
As he shakes my hand and practically laughs at me
"Open up nice and wide", he says peering in
And with a smirk he says, "Don't have a fit
This'll just pinch a bit", as he tries not to grin

When hygienists leave on long vacations
That's when dentists scream
And lose their patience

Talking only brings the toothaches on
Because I say the stupidest things
So if my result goes south
I'll swallow my pride with an Aspirin
And shut my mouth

Golf and alcohol don't mix
And that's why I don't drink and drive
Because good grief, I'd knock out my teeth
And have to kiss my smile goodbye

I've been to the dentist a thousand times
So I know the drill, I smooth my hair
Sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills