I need a pain shot, and a shot of plain scotch
Purple haze and acid raindrops
Spike the punch at the party and drain pop

Shaved my armpits and wore a tank top
Bad Boy, I told you that I can't stop
Gotta make 'em fear you before you make 'em feel you
So everybody buy my shit or I?ma come and kill you

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets
I'm your brother when you need some new weed to set you free
You know me, I'm your friend when you need a mini thin, Slim Shady
I'm Shady

I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful
I like birds, bees, I like people
I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful
Like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in preschool

The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike
While I blow my brain out, took a see what it feels like
And this is how I am in real life
I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice

How you wanna scare somebody with a gun threat
When they're high off of drugs they haven't even done yet
So bring the money by tonight
'Cause your wife says this is the biggest knife she ever saw in her life

I try to keep it positive and play it cool
Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school
'Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to better
Tonight I think I'll write my biggest fan a 'Fuck you' letter

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets
I'm your brother when you need some new weed to set you free
You know me, I'm your friend when you need a mini thin, Slim Shady
I'm Shady

Yo, I listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it
Six months later you hear your lyrics on my shit
People don't buy shit no more they just dub it
That's why I'm still broke and had the number one club hit

But they love it when you make your business public
So fuck it, I've got herpes while we're on the subject
And if I told you I had AIDS y'all would play it
'Cause you stupid motherfuckers think I'm playin' when I say it

I do take pills, don't do speed
Don't do crack, don't do coke, I do smoke weed
Don't do smack, I do do shrooms
Do drink beer, I just wanna make a few things clear

My baby mama's not dead, she's still alive and bitchin'
And I don't have herpes, my dick's just itchin'
It's not syphilis, and as for bein' AIDS infested
I don't know yet, I'm too scared to get tested

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets
I'm your brother when you need some new weed to set you free
You know me, I'm your friend when you need a mini thin, Slim Shady
I'm Shady

I told you I was Shady, yo, y'all didn't wanna believe me
I'm Shady and that's my name