I brought along my best friend
Melissa Mahoney
who had once been molested

and she knew how to get there
she knew all the nurses
they were all really friendly
but the test came out positive.

Uh-oh.

I've seen better days but i don't care
I just sent a letter in the mail.

When I got my abortion,
I brought along my boyfriend
we got there an hour
before the appointment.

And outside the building
there were all these annoying
fundamentalist Christians.
We tried to ingore them.

Oh-oh

I've had better days but i don't care.
Oasis got my letter in the mail.

When vacation was over,
the word was all over
that i was a crack whore
Melissa had told them.

And so now were not talking,
except we have tickets
to see Blur in October
and i think were still going.

Oh-oh

I've seen better days but i don't care.
Oh i just got a letter in the mail.

Oasis sent a photograph
it's autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself
I swear.