(Well, well)

('At sho' is a old man there playin' that guitar)
(My, you look ten days older than water)
Hee-hee
Say, look here!
(A-what dat?)
It look like your process took a recess
(Ha-ha)
(A-that's alright, at least I can afford to get one)
(You wear one of them do-it-yo'self job things)
Eee

(Say!)
Yeah
(I wrote a song about you)
Lemme hear it!
(You sho' you wanna hear it?)
I wanna hear all of it, nevermind the tempo
You just shove on in there, a-he-he
(Alright)

(You is one ugly child, who can yo' mama be?)
He-he
(Ooh, I gotta 'nuther verse, you wanna hear it?)
Go ahead sing it, lemme hear it, man
Lay it down there to me
(Well, if I was yo' daddy I'll go an jump in the sea)
(No, I ain't gonna talk about you like that)
(After all, it wasn't yo' fault)
He-ee

Look it, here!
(Ya)
I heard you had a new job, too
(I'sn't that right?)
You wanna hear what kinda job I heard that you had?
(And what kinda job I got, now?)
Standin' out front of a doctor's office makin' people sick
A-hee-hee
(That's alright, I heard some'in about you, too)
You heard nothin' about me
(Yes, I did)
(I heard that you were so ugly
That when you cry, the tears run down the back-a yo' head
To keep from comin' towards yo' face)
He-he-he

(Say!)
Yeah
(I wonder what you would-a been if you would-a lived?)
What's that?
(I said, I wonder what you would-a been if you had-a lived?)
You, wait a minute
Now, I dare you to say it, again
(I said, I wonder what you would-a been if you had-a lived?)
Yo daddy! hee-hee

(Hey, there!)
Yeah
(Did yo' mama ever have any children?)
A-wh-what?
(Did yo' mama ever have any children?)
Hoo, I betcha yo' ma didn't raise no dummys either did she?
(She musta raised one I'm up here wit' you)
Yeah

Say, look here!
(What dat?)
What size shoes you wear?
(Ten n' half)
Yeah
(I right)
I figured you was gon' say that
Yo' feet look like you got on violin cases
A-hee-hee

(Say, now)
Yeah
(What air force you belong to?)
The same one yo' daddy belong to
(I thought so, I saw that propeller around yo neck)
A hee-hee

Say, look-it-hee
(Yeah)
You've got on a thirty-five dollar bow tie
(Hmm, that right)
Fifty-five dollar white shirt
(Uh-huh)
Hundred n' fifty dollar coat
(Sho nuff)
Eighty-five dollar pair a pants
(Yeah)
Sixty-five dollar pair a shoes
(A-ha)
And no underwear
(That's alright)
(The reason I ain't wearin' none a them
Yo' wife couldn't afford to buy 'em)
He-hee

(Hey, there!)
Yeah
(I don't need you to play that thing)
You act like I could be replaced, huh?
(There's other guitar players, ya know)
Ain't no mo' like me!
(I know it, one like you is enough!)
He-hee

Ooo.