Trying to cash his microphone check 2, 1, 2
Want to believe my own hype but it's too untrue
The world brought me to my knees
What have you brung you?

Did you improve on the design?
Did you do something new?
Well, your name ain't on the guest list
Who brung you?

You, the more famous person you come through
And the sexy lady next to you come to
And then it hit me, standing outside of heaven
Waiting for God to come and get me

I'm too uncouth, unschooled to the rules and two gum shoe
Too much of a newcomer and too uncool
Like Shadow and Lavelle, I battle with it well
Though I need a holiday like lady who song blue
Go back whatever you did you undo
Heavy is heaven, the devil on my two tons too

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones and they wanna know
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

And you better wear your shades
The spotlights here can burn holes through the stage
Down through the basement
Passed the Indian graves where the dinosaurs laid

And out through China nearly misses air liners
Magnified times five this is pointed at the rhymer
Ricochets off the moon and sets the forest a blaze
Now that's important to say, 'cause even with all of that
Most of us don't want it to fade

We want it to braid, meaning we want it to grow
Meaning we want it to stay like the governor called
And they told him to wait, unstrap him from the chair
Put him back in his cage

The audience ain't fazed
They ain't gone clap and they ain't gone praise
They want everything back that they paid
'Cause they been waiting since ten to see the lights get dim

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear the crowd is here
And the lights are on and they want a show
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

So chauffeur, chauffeur come and take me away
'Cause I been standing in this line for like five whole days
Me and security ain't getting along
And when I got to the front they told me all of the tickets were gone

So just take me home where the mood is mellow
And the roses are thrown, M&M's are yellow
And the light bulbs around my mirror don't flicker
Everybody gets a nice autograph picture

One for you and one for your sister
Who had to work tonight but is an avid listener
Every songs a favorite song and Mikes don't feed back
All the reviewers say you need to go and see that

And everybody claps 'cause everybody is pleased
Then they all take the stage and start performing for me
Like ha, ha, haha, ha
Ha, ha, haha, ha, ha

If you are what you say you are a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones and they wanna know
Oh, oh, oh

If you are what you say you are a superstar
Then have no fear the crowd is here
And the lights are on and they want a show
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

If you are what you say you are
Then have no fear