She shakin' that ass to the new Nelly jams
I think someone’s at the door but I don’t think I'ma answer
Police saying, freeze, doing, doing, doing

What do you mean freeze?, Please I’m a human being
I have needs, I’m not done, not till I’m finished peeing
I’m not resisting arrest, I am agreeing Mr. Officer
I’m already on my knees, I can’t get on the ground any further

It’s impossible for me and do not treat me like a murderer
I just like to pee, pee, pee, yes, I make R&B
I sing song, it ring-a-chong-a-ching-chong-chong-ching
Syke, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid, if I offend, I’m sorry

Please, please forgive
For I am Triumph the puppet dog
I am a mere puppet
I can get away with anything I say and you will love it

The way you shake it, I can’t believe it
I ain’t never seen an ass like that
The way you move it
You make my peepee go doing, doing, doing

Jessica Simpson looks oh so tempting
Nick, I ain’t never seen an ass like that
Every time I see that show on MTV
My peepee goes doing, doing, doing

Mary Kate and Ashley used to be so handsome
Now they getting older, they’re starting to grow bum-bums
I go to the movies and sit down with my popcorn
Police saying freeze doing, doing, doing

What do you mean freeze?, Jeez I just got my seat
I have ticket, look I put away my zipper’s zipped
Please do not remove me from this movie theatre, please
I did not even get to see Mary Kate’s shower scene

I didn’t mean to be obscene or make a great big scene
And don’t treat me like I’m Pee-Wee Herman
This movie’s PG, Mr. Office, I demand to see my attorney
I will simply plead innocent, cop a plea and be free

Free, yes free, right back on the streets
What you mean my lawyers with Michael, he’s too busy?
I am Triumph, Britney Spears has shoulder’s like man
And I could say that and you laugh
'Cause there’s a puppet on my hand

The way you shake it, I can’t believe it
I ain’t never seen an ass like that
The way you move it
You make my peepee go doing, doing, doing

Hillary Duff is not quite old enough
So I ain’t never seen a butt like that
Maybe next year I’ll say ass
Since you make my peepee go doing, doing, doing

The way she moves she dances like a Gogo
In that video she sings get out your puzzle
I need a new boyfriend, hi my name is Jojo
Police saying, freeze, doing, doing, doing

What do you mean freeze?, My computers will be seized
And my keys to my ranch, I just bake cookies
Mr. Office, lookie, take a whiff of this
Here, I make Jesus juice, take a sip of this

Nobody is safe from me, no not even me
I don’t even know if I can say the word peepee
Pee on the radio but I think I did
Janet is that the breast?, I think I just saw a tit

Syke, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid
I don’t think my joke is working
I must flee quick, get to the chopper, everybody get out
I am not Triumph, I am Arnold, get down

The way you shake it, I can’t believe it
I ain’t never seen an ass like that
The way you move it
You make my peepee go doing, doing, doing

So Gwen Stafani will you peepee on me, please
I ain’t never seen an ass like that
'Cause the way you move it
You make my peepee go doing, doing, doing

Fuck is wrong with you?